Le ciel est la limite

A New Beginning

2010-06-22T11:22:00.001-04:00

It has been six months since my last post, and I can't even begin to express or relive all that's happened. As I read through past blogs today, I considered deleting them all and just starting over; however, if you know me well enough, you know that I like to keep things for the memories - "I have to show my kids one day..." I deleted a few posts that were boring and not worth the memories, but I have to say that most of them are money - who throws away money?

Even though I am not scratching the old blog, I consider this post a new beginning. I stopped writing for reasons not worth telling the world, and I have felt completely out of my element. Writing, even if it is a silly blog, brings me so much relief and joy. I would bet the last six months would have been much smoother if I had written on a regular basis. I convinced myself, however, that I did not have time and what I had to write wasn't worth reading - blasphemy. I shall begin writing again and entertaining those of you who care enough to attempt to understand how I am fashioned.

Life is also at a new beginning as I am now a college graduate and a teacher. The last days of college life are all a blur as I was busy preparing for Class Day, finishing up my student teaching experience, and completely perplexed by the idea I would wear the black robe and shake Big Mo's hand in just a short time. I tried not to focus on the 'what happens next' but rather I soaked up every last moment with my friends with a new perspective of 'what plan? All I have is today.' 'How did it get so late so soon' has been the million dollar question since November, and I am convinced none of us can answer. The last few days flew by and on Sunday morning as we drank mimosas and ate cinnamon rolls, we still did not seem to be convinced that the "real world" was about to run right over us. However, I do think it's safe to say that we have all conquered the "real world" thus far as we each have a job or some plan for the future, new apartments, and attitudes of optimism and hope.

Here are a few pictures of the final chapter to our college storybook...

Class Day . . .

My beautiful (former) roommate/longest best friend/co-chair

The class of 2010 broke tradition and added roses to the traditional daisy chain. I can't even begin to describe the beauty of it.

Seniors

Daisy Chain '10

"I love my friends" - VC

Picnic fun

Graduation Day . . .

The End

And now 'on to the next one!' For me this is teaching Apparel and Interior Design at Millbrook High School. I am so excited for the opportunity to work with students and make a new and different impact on the world. Raise your glasses and let's make a toast: Here's to a new beginning!

no worries . . . just breathe

2009-12-13T18:54:00.005-05:00

Such a phrase has become my life motto, and I seem to be living it out well. I actually first saw this in the form of a bumper sticker as I was driving home from a rough day at school - it was just what I needed. This phrase along with various Dove promises (check your wrapper when you have a piece of dove chocolate) have been encouraging me to survive the past few weeks. I won't go into all the details, but I think my laid back persona has taken on a whole new meaning, and I have mastered the 'just breathe' aspect of this.

I know you have not heard from me since October, and for that, I sincerely apologize (as usual). But I know that you faithful readers realize how crazy things have been. I obviously have lots to share as the past two months have been filled with multiple activities and memorable experiences. I think when I last wrote, I was looking forward to our semi-formal, the White Iris Ball. I don't have much to say about it other than we had a blast. My fly friends and I know how to rock a dance event in case you weren't aware . . . and we're real cute.

I was also in the midst of preparing for Cornhuskin'. Our theme was entitled "And To Think I Saw It On Hillsborough St." and was Dr. Seuss inspired. I don't know that I can really describe how awesome it was, but I can honestly say it was one of the best nights of my life. We were out of control just as I promised we would be. In case you missed it, here are the links for out various dances; there isn't a video of our entire skit, but you might not be able to handle it all at once - just click below to check us out.

Processional

I Can Transform Ya

Finale

Hog Call

It's too much, I know. And, of course, we did win - fair and square - totally legit this time. I don't think we could've ended on a better note, but I am still in denial that I don't get to give my life away next October - I will probably be teaching some crazy kids how to sew or cook somewhere. I will definitely be back though to cheer on my sweet lils who took 2nd place as sophomores - they are just following in our footsteps, and I love it.

There haven't really been any BIG events since corn, but I have had plenty of memorable nights with my amazing friends as we have celebrated birthdays, relieved stress, and just spent quality time together. I have been enjoying my season tickets to the Broadway Series at DPAC - it's the perfect date night for Katherine and me. And football season wasn't a total bust - Carolina got a bowl game; however, I think I am done being a Panthers fan for a while - Jake's gotta go or get his head in the game.

Halloween was a hoot as we traveled to Belmont to Celebrate Wilson and Carol's engagement; that's another event I just can't describe with words - the pictures say it all I think. Carolyn, Jesse, and I dressed up as characters from Daria, a show which used to come on MTV. Carolyn was Daria; Jesse was her friend Jane; and I was Daria's 15 year old, popular, overdeveloped, annoying little sister, Quinn. It was quite an adventure, and I am definitely looking forward to this fabulous wedding in May - fortunately, we will be in our best wedding attire, not our silly costumes.

While trying to maintain our social lives, we all struggled to survive the semester. I think the senioritis kicked in, and we started losing any motivation that might possibly exist. Before I knew it, it was Thanksgiving, exam time, and now Christmas break; I don't think I got to blink once. Everything came at full force, but somehow, I survived - and did well considering the events of the semester. I definitely decided on a much needed mental health weekend starting last Thursday, and I must say it was the best mental health weekend I could've asked for. It started with a successful night at the Red Room salsa dancing with my sweet lils and ended with a super tacky Christmas party. Jesse and I decided to take tacky to a whole new level, and we wore onesie pjs - it was pretty tacky which made us a hit as usual.

Now I know I haven't done my life justice here, but I had to catch you up on the general events of my life before I could give you anything of significant substance. Had I not fallen behind on filling you in, I could've shared some of the awesome stories that have come out of the semester - I always have pretty awesome stories. At this time, I really must get up and be a productive citizen of society; my mental health weekend is turning into laziness 101. I will be back to share more later this week, but hopefully this tidbit can entertain you for now :)

l'amore per ottobre

2009-10-14T20:08:00.000-04:00

It's October, and I love it! I don't mind the cold weather so long as it isn't raining (which happens to be the case this week); crisp morning air just puts me in the best mood, and the varying colors of the leaves bring a smile to my face. I have been meaning to blog for the past two weeks, but you know me - always falling behind - I have been in bed a lot with mono, so there's really no excuse other than I have been completely drained physically and mentally. School is picking up, but I still have no idea what is going on most days. Midterms were last week, and because I am taking pretty general classes, there was no avoiding the written midterm - of course, I have survived.

Following midterms is the always loved fall break - translated to "2 days of no class so you can hopefully catch up" which never happens. I went home to good ole Morganton and enjoyed too much down time and not enough productivity. I tried to get ahead, but being on top of things is not quite my style - I work best under pressure. So, fall break was really just a few days to relax, catch up with old friends, and spend quality time with my parents.

Unfortunately, fall break did not end in such a relaxed manner. Sunday was full of unexpected stress as my dear phone decided to freeze after multiple attempts to restore and update. I was incredibly frustrated and left home later than I intended. The already glorious Sunday afternoon got better when I received my first traffic violation in the not so cool town of Winston Salem. I have never encountered a cop in my life, so surprisingly, I did not freak out and burst into tears as most of us females would do. I kept my cool hoping that this egotistical, testosterone - filled, sympathy lacking excuse for a man would have a little grace recognizing that I was just an innocent, upstanding participant of society. Nope - not a chance - after insulting my intelligence by questioning if I had any idea where my registration might be, homie went to his car and came back with a citation in hand - following too close - of course I had to pass him as soon as I came up on a car going significantly slower that I was in the far left lane - not that you want the whole story, but I thought for sure he'd have a little heart, but of course I'm just a college student heading back to school and society assumes that I'm probably up to no good anyway. Oh well, I shall take my citation with my head held high and move forward.

On a happier note (I think), corn is in full swing. As seniors, we are practicing a ton more because we get a whole ten minutes to enter the amphitheater in addition to everything else. Sadly, I cannot tell you anything about what were planning, but I can say that the class of 2010 will be out of control as usual! For those of you who are wondering what in the world cornhuskin' is, I really cannot explain it - I have been trying for four years. The day begins with a parade down the front drive at 3:30 followed by a family picnic. The evening agenda begins with some apple bobbin' and some corn shuckin'; each class then presents their skits, hog calls, tall tales, class songs, and more - intense, I know. It's a real good time. So if you're interested in experiencing this wild time we like to call cornhuskin' - come to the MC Amphitheater on November 6.

My life is pretty much consumed by corn at the moment, and my allegiance is to the class of 2010 until the second week of November. I apologize in advance for being MIA in other areas of my life. Aside from corn, not much is going on - just living the life of a college student!

This weekend is our White Iris Ball; I have never gone, so I am excited to get dressed up and spend the evening with my sweet friends :)

Cockroaches & Men

2009-09-28T18:19:00.001-04:00

Yes, you read correctly; I am about to make a connection between nasty little insects and the male species. I thought my simple story of roach run ins would not be quite as interesting to read or write about. NOTE: this blog is not intended to degrade men or make them feel lesser than; I am sure we could compare women to all sorts of annoying little things.

After a little battle with Mr. Roach 1, 2, and 3 this weekend, I discovered many similarities between these obnoxious creatures and men. I think my reflection came about as I was incredibly annoyed by the roach and could not even begin to understand his intentions and desires in my pantry. Interestingly enough, I am incredibly annoyed by the male gender and do not understand them as simple as they seem. These strange creatures (both men and roaches) are quick; they fear being caught in the wrong; they like to run and hide. Roach number three was quite the tease last night as he would hide in the crevices and show his little antennas; I think he thought it was funny that I knew exactly where he was, but he had complete control over the situation. Much like men, roaches will show their faces and run away, and you never know when you will see them again - it could be minutes, days, weeks, or even months if ever. They think they are so smooth, but they definitely underestimate the minds of women. Now I know all they want is to be loved, respected, and allowed to go about their business whatever that business may be; they do not want to be bothered.

The first two roaches did receive the death penalty (rip). Yes, that's right . . . we had thirty three infectious diseases on our kitchen floor. twice. The men I come in contact with don't have thirty three infectious diseases, but I am sure I could find thirty three other things equally disgusting.

The most significant connection I made came around midnight when Sara and I were completely fed up and annoyed by the presence of roachy roach. Roaches, much like men, make us do the craziest things. They make us irrational and willing to go the extra mile whatever it may be to reach our goals. Note the difference here being that we go the extra mile to kill the roach; we don't kill the men - still not sure why we make the extra effort in that arena. Nonetheless, we hopped in the car and headed to Walgreen's on Capital in search of boric acid - maybe it was extreme, but the last thing I wanted was this roach haunting me in the night. We found the boric acid, returned home, and applied it where necessary. We aren't sure if it has worked, but we have not seen any roaches since, and until we do, we will stand by our method of destruction.

So maybe these are only small similarities; I could name countless differences (which would probably make men feel a little higher on the totem pole). Luckily, men are much better looking; and while they also like to eat everything in the pantry, the right guy's grubby hands in my food would be a-okay. I do find it somewhat unfortunate that I cannot just whack a man over the head with my shoe at times, but we ladies know that's just not the magical formula (unless your goal is to have your own episode of snapped!).

I am not a man hater by any means (as most of you probably know), but I obviously have some frustrations with the species. While many would argue that there is no good in men, I praise God daily for their existence. I see him tending the bar, driving down I-40, worshiping at church, or on the television screen (this would be serious fantasy land), and I just think, "wow, God! Great job!" or "that's one amazing creation!" Maybe that's shallow, but I don't think so - I appreciate this species much more than I appreciate my own most days (still not exactly sure why) and most definitely more than I appreciate insects even if they are just as slimy.

Simplify.

2009-09-26T23:31:00.004-04:00

After further reflection of my last few posts as well as dealing with my heart which is full of conflict at the moment, I am being reminded of the simplicity of life. I have never thought my life to be complicated; I have always considered myself a pretty simple person. I am straight forward; I'll tell you exactly how I feel if you want to know; I rarely hold back as I feel it is best to just lay it all out on the table. Secrets are unnecessary (unless they are for a good cause which many of us would call a surprise) and playing games is just downright foolish. Now I know it is all about the journey, and I am fan of the journey - the journey excites me - and I am always trying to soak it up moment by moment - but can't we just keep it simple?

Unfortunately, I find myself over analyzing the journey (probably as I write this) and making it so much more complicated in my mind. Who cares what I will be doing in eight months - I may not even be alive in eight months (I sure hope to be, God willing). I sit and think about what path I will take next; I weigh the pros and cons when in reality, what I may think to be the best fit for me or the most attractive option may not be what God has in store for my life. So why waste the energy on thinking about it? I should redirect my energy to the present and towards seeking the Lord and hope that I will be able to discern His voice when he speaks.

Part of the complication has been arising as my heart is in conflict, and I feel like I am having to reevaluate my values and truly determine what is important to me. I feel like the circumstances in which I find myself are not lending to my priorities in life, and I am having to recalculate and reorganize. I believe in staying true to myself, but I am finding that being 21 the 21st century American culture is a difficult arena to really clarify and maintain my traditional values. On the brighter side, I am becoming much more independent which can be considered a good thing, I suppose; I am a fan of independent thinking and finding out who I am apart from my family, friends, or non existent significant other. I am discovering my own passions and beliefs about the journey, and I guess I am truly thankful for the opportunities and experiences I have encountered as part of the "single life;" I would say that I am embracing it more than I'd like to admit sometimes.

As far as simplifying, my goal is to focus on the here and now . . . for now. Matthew 6:34 reminds us not to worry about tomorrow for it will worry about itself. Thankfully, I currently have mono; I am sure you're wondering why I am so thankful, huh? Well, it is forcing me to slow down and enjoy the simple things that I have been overlooking - I can't look towards much of anything exciting because I don't really know how my body is going to feel. I know it seems extreme, but I am really trying to find a positive to mono - work with me.

As a little inspiration to simplify, I want to ask you (my lovely fans) to keep my friend Meredith in your prayers. She recently arrived in Uganda and is doing all sorts of fun, God - glorifying stuff over there! I am imagining that she has had to simplify more than I will ever know much about - she is in Africa serving a purpose for which God has chosen her, and she is SIMPLY trusting Him with all she has as she waits to see what is in store. Pray for her, read her blog, and be inspired - meredith-brooks.blogspot.com

So, journey? yes - a simple journey from one single day to the next.

incredibly indecisive.

2009-09-19T18:31:00.003-04:00

As I read through my last two posts, I realized that I completely contradicted myself. The post before last (the 's' word), I raved about how I am not ready to move on from this current stage of my life and that it is so bittersweet to even ponder. In my last post (f.a.l.l), I mentioned that I am so ready for whatever is next. After further reflection, I am pretty sure I will be straddling this fence for the next eight months . . . yes, I graduate in eight months.

I always knew I was indecisive though I like to consider it being laid back. If I feel very strongly one way or another, I will definitely let you know; however, my feeling that strongly about anything occurs only about 85 - 90% of the time. I'd rather just go with the flow and tag along.

So, I now consider why I am straddling the fence of being ready and being not so ready for "the next stage." My classes this semester aren't terrible, but they aren't anything causing me to jump for joy. I am over the school work and terrified of actually doing my thesis, but I love being on campus and seeing my pretty friends everyday. I think I just feel like my schedule is so crazy, and I hate that I can't come home at the end of a day, cook a delicious meal, and relax - no . . . I come home just in time to hit the sack leaving so many things unfinished. Now it does all get done eventually, but what must I do to get ahead for once?

Another reason I am so unsure about my feelings on the matter is the abundant amount of options that I have to choose from. What will I do with my life? Well, I will eventually teach to pay back the good ole state of NC, but do I teach as soon as I graduate? I've considered grad school pretty seriously, but there is one thing standing in my way - the GRE. Will I ever be past the age of standardized testing? Ehhh... probably not. I just do not want to put the time into studying for a silly test that I will probably not do so hot on regardless of how much time I spend preparing. And the idea of grad school does open a whole new can of worms - do I get my degree in education or something else? I do want my masters in something, and I'd rather just take a year and do it, but we'll see if that is where the road leads. Ultimately, I just want to travel; unfortunately, that means I need money. Again, I just have to wait and see what doors open, but I think if I knew what was next, I could really decide how I feel about parting ways with my college days. I guess that's the fun of it all, huh? Not knowing is kind of cool, and not having a plan allows for a super fun adventure (I hope!); one day at a time . . . one day at the time.

Never in my life did I think I would have so many different things to choose from regarding my future; I guess that's why I never really realized just how indecisive I could be. For the time being, I will just straddle the fence; I will go back and forth; it will be a true love/hate relationship - me and "this stage." Therefore, please disregard my comments on the subject, and please don't take note of my contradictions :)

f.a.l.l

2009-09-13T21:36:00.004-04:00

I am overwhelmed. Suddenly, everything about being a senior is kicking in, and school is getting busier by the second. As I look at my calendar, I see that fall break is only three and a half weeks away, and while this is very exciting, I realize just how much has to be done before then. As I consider my lack of motivation, I freak out a little - if you know me, you know I don't freak out about school.

I was feeling incredibly anxious for multiple reasons this afternoon including school, so I met my sweet friend Katherine at southpoint to walk around a little. I had some items in mind that I wanted to buy (a little retail therapy never hurt), but I think everyone else that wears my size had the same idea - shopping fail, bank account success! I came home and suddenly had the desire to feel my feet hitting the pavement , so I went running/walking up the road. I am getting my motivation to run back after many years, and I must say that I love it! If I can mix some running with my pilates, I am going to have a really hot bod - you wait and see :)

So . . . I went walking to relieve some stress and ponder thoughts of life (go figure). I thought about school and how I shouldn't stress - the work will get done, and it really won't be as bad as I am currently imagining. I think I am just lacking motivation, and while I love college, I am kind of ready for whatever the next stage is - I am over school for the moment.

Mostly, I thought about f.a.l.l;I LOVE fall. As I admired beauty around me, I thought about how much I love to be outside, and how perfect the weather is becoming. Some things I am looking forward to this fall include:

evening walks
hiking/camping (Determined to pitch a tent this year)
leaves changing colors
football
clear skies (star gazing!)
crisp mornings
less humidity
not sweating in cute clothes
wearing cute fall clothes
scarves
CORNHUSKIN'
hot chocolate
campfires
sweatshirts
pumpkin everything (coffee, cheesecake, bread, carving, etc)
fall break
hot air balloon festival
the office

That's the best list I can come up with right now, but it pretty much highlights my range of interests. I hope to find some new interests this fall as well; I'll update you if anything sparks my fancy.

So school? yeah, life is beautiful, and school is just a small piece in the whole realm of things. My life is incredibly exciting, and I have no reason to be stressed . . . not yet, anyway. My plan is to f.a.l.l in love with every single day that I face, and tackle it all (whatever it is) with a little joy in my heart!

I am going to go study now, but I will update you soon on more exciting events :)

The 'S' Word

2009-08-25T13:10:00.005-04:00

Yeah, you know what I am talking about. It's that really awkward word that makes you feel incredibly uneasy and often uncomfortable. That word that we absolutely hate to come up in conversation with our parents . . . "It's all about choices [insert your name here]; it's important that you make the right decision." It's that word that sounds so exciting and you're sure it's going to be a ton of fun, but at the same time, you're scared to death of it. This is also a word that often makes people grow closer to one another, and because of this new bond that is built, we are overly emotional when we eventually part ways - because you just know it can't last forever, so you make the best of the time you have. It's a word that seems so applicable to everyone before you, but you can never imagine yourself being face to face with the issue. Then . . . it happens . . . I'm still not ready to say the word because that makes it more real than I'd like it to be . . . no . . . not THAT 's' word . . . Se . . . SENIOR! Yes, the status of being a senior is staring me in the face, and while it is exciting, and I just want to pee my pants thinking about all the awesomeness that is going to be packed into the next few months . . . I am not quite ready to be done with this stage in my life. I mean, yes, I am ready to be a "big girl" and am so over the school work, but to think I will be face to face with the "real world" in just a couple of months is somewhat terrifying. I am sure this is mostly because I don't really have a plan of attack for determining where I want to teach or if I even want to teach immediately after graduation for that matter. It all seems so unsure, but I know God has it under control - it will all be revealed at the perfect time, and I will know exactly what I am supposed to do. In the mean time, I am going to work on embracing the 's' word and having the absolute time of life!

Since I last wrote, things have been extremely busy! I'm sure you're all wondering how frolf went . . . well, the weather wasn't so in line with the idea, so my friend Dan and I ended up savoring some Moe's deliciousness and watching The Hangover - FINALLY! It was hilarious, and I cannot wait for it to be at the $1.50, so I can watch it a few more times on the big screen. I would definitely put it in the top 3 of funniest movies I have ever seen - I laugh just thinking about it. While on the topic of Dan Dan - we went to salsa the next night, had a blast, and spent most of the night just talking - my favorite thing ever. Unfortunately, my new friend had to return to Virginia, and I now have no salsa partner. sad times. I hope we'll keep in touch and still remember those salsa moves if we ever see eachother again :)

Luckily, orientation quickly began, and before I knew it, I was sitting in class. I do have to say that the whole 's' word started to sink in as I watched the Campus Life Skit with the new freshmen - there was just something about my friends being on the stage and not expecting to hear 'the class of 2010' before any other class that brought a little tear to my eye. I'm such a baby, I know, but good ole MC has a very special place in my heart, and I just cannot believe how much I have grown in the past three years - it was somewhat of a revelation regarding how far I have come; however, "[I've] got so far to go."

Classes aren't too bad. I am taking the following courses for those of you who would like to know:

Biblical Literature & History
Psychology of Exceptional Individuals
Global Needs of Families
Race & Ethnic Relations
Pilates (1/2 of the semester)

I am also continuing to work on my thesis independently. I am pretty interested in all of my classes - mostly my Core 400 (Families) class. First of all, I just love Dr. Tippett; secondly, it's a class about the needs of families which is my major; and third, it's all about the world and culture which is one of my passions. We began class discussing the United Nations Millennium Goals - I have heard of these but never really researched them - talk about a humbling experience. Just thinking about all of the suffering in the world makes me feel so bratty and blessed at the same time. As I have mentioned before, I have such a love and a heart for the poor, so this discussion touched my soul, and I am pretty sure it made all of us want to change the world. AND the icing on the cake?? Well, we were assigned different countries and somehow, I got Uganda! I love Africa and Uganda is one of those places I really want to go one day! Maybe it's a sign - or not, but I thought it was cool (or groovy as Mom would say) especially since my sweet Meredith Strickland is getting ready to leave to go do mission work in Uganda.

I haven't quite gotten into school mode 100%, but I am finally feeling settled in the apartment. I found a desk, got a tv out of the middle of my bedroom floor, and got the rest of my stuff unpacked and organized - if you know me well enough, you know that this was a highlight of last week - I love to be organized! The rest of the apartment came together as well - we got a huge picture to go over the couch, a few more lamps to light up our lives, but my favorite is the vase of daisies that have been blooming beautifully for about two weeks now. In honor of MereCo, Class Day, and the beginning of the school year, we just had to have some pretty white daisies.

Ok, last thing I have to mention and that is today was the first day of public school, and I went to the high school to see how things go down on such a day. It made me a little more excited about student teaching so long as I can brush up on my sewing skills and can find a cooler name to be called than Miss Stanton. Really? I mean I guess it's ok - it is my name, but I just wish I had a cool, profesh nickname - Goofy and Giggles just don't cut it in the classroom.

I am really going to go do some homework now . . . really.

Catching Up, Catching Up!

2009-08-11T20:47:00.016-04:00

Well, I promised to write Sunday to fill you in on my weekend at home, but between driving back to Raleigh and spending the day with my salsa partner, it didn't happen - obviously. My apologies - I hate to disappoint my readers . . . not that I have all that many, but

for as faithful as some of you are, I should be reliable :)

Sooo - I went home last Wednesday as an attempt to get away and spend some time with the family before school begins again. I didn't have too many big plans while I was home, but time to relax and think about nothing was plan enough. While at home, I got to visit the dentist, get myhair trimmed, and the such - so much fun - I know you just can't believe it! The most fun I had was on Saturday when my parents and I went to Crabtree Meadows to hike and picnic. I have been itching to be in the woods, and this hike to a beautiful waterfall was just what I needed! Once we hiked and ate some delicious sandwiches, we drove up to Mount Mitchell since we hadn't been there in years; it was nice to just enjoy the view and watch the people. Now of course you know that it wasn't just the three of us . . . we don't go anywhere without the little dogs in hand . . .

This is Sadie who only enjoys walking for a short time and then riding in her carrier . . . really, mom?

Brinks, on the other hand, enjoys the water and taking charge of the trails.

Crabtree Falls

It was a fun trip, but now I am definitely ready for some hiking in the fall - one day I shall tackle the AT . . . you just wait!

The remainder of the weekend was spent scrapbooking and simply hanging out. I learned that one cannot play frisbee alone - it just doesn't work. I attempted to play frisbee with my dog, Moses, but he's really not intelligent. So, I decided I would just throw the frisbee with myself, but this was a super f.a.i.l. Do not try it - it is no fun.

I returned to Raleigh on Sunday afternoon where I spent some time in the sun. I hadn't been by the pool in about three weeks, so this was a treat! My friend Dan came to join me along with Jules - my favorite neighbor! It was the perfect ending to a great weekend, for sure!

It has been a good week so far as I am currently in Morehead City with my mom. My brother returned from Iraq in the wee hours of the morning today, so my mom and I came down to hang out with the sister in law and welcome him! We went to bed last night around midnight, woke up at 3am, got to base around 5:30am when they were arriving, THEN we waited until about 7:30 to have a reunion. The wait was long, but I enjoyed watching the people around me - my favorites being the little kids including the babies who have only been born since their daddies have been away (one was only a week old, and she was precious!).

This was just before she got her first knot from tumbling to the ground :(

As the boys came in on the bus, my mom and I stood off to the side holding our sign. I am sure we were the first thing he saw as he turned in, and surprisingly, I spotted him through the window immediately. He got off the bus, found his new wife, and proceeded to hug me and his momma. It was a sweet reunion, and I enjoyed watching these big strong men show some emotion - especially the ones with cute babies they'd yet to meet.

Newlyweds back together!

Upon returning home, we all took a good nap, ran some errands, and ate some good food! I am sure this is only the beginning to a good week. I return to Raleigh tomorrow, and I am planning to play frisbee golf (frolf) - it should be interesting - I'll let you know how it goes. I also have student advising training when I return as we prepare for the freshman to move in on Saturday! I am so excited; this is definitely one of my favorite things about going back to school! I have some school supplies, and I can't quite express how excited I get when I get new school supplies - it's probably a sign that I am supposed to be a teacher . . . or I am not ready to grow up :)

Hope this has been a fair update considering my failure to follow through! I wish you all a great week, and I will update you on my oh so exciting journeys soon!

What? It's August? Already?

2009-08-08T21:11:00.004-04:00

Umm . . . It's definitely August in case any of you were unaware: August 8th at that. I have not blogged since July 19th - that is not okay since I promised to be better. Now as I begin to write, I don't know where to start - so much has been happening! Now my life isn't all that exciting as I have been pretty busy "working" and hanging out with my friends.

I believe that I left off telling you about my senior conference. Since then, the bachelorette has ended, and my monday nights are empty feeling. I went to a fun finale party with some church girls. We dressed up like Jillian & dressed our hot dogs (Jill loves hot dogs). Jillian picked Ed - sorry to ruin it for those of you who didn't know. I switched teams multiple times during the finale, but I was satisfied in the end as I am sure Reid will call eventually (jk, jk). Honestly, I hope Jillian & Ed make it - Lord knows that show needs another success story. Also concerning the bachelor & the bachelorette, I hereby refuse to watch it so religiously - it's so not good for my emotional health - I get way too involved. Someone please call me out next season if I am finding the urge to know all that could be known about the participates. Thanks.

The end of July was also a celebration for my sweet friend Jesse who turned 21!!! She's the last of the crew to become legal, so everyone was able to go out and enjoy the evening with her. the night began with a yummy dinner cooked by Marie and hanging out. Friends started arriving at Ashley and Jesse's summer home around 10pm to pre-game (since she couldn't actually go out until midnight - her birthday was on a Sunday). Once everyone arrived, we gave Jesse the biggest bottle of Grey Goose you could imagine - from the floor, it almost came to my knee. She was so excited!! Around 11:45, we left to head downtown to Cashmere to dance the night away and complete some activities assigned to Jesse. I offered to drive, but I must say that I still had an absolute blast! What could be better than spending an evening laughing and celebrating a birth with your best friends? Yay Jesse - love you, boo!

Since Jesse has been 21, we've tried to make an effort to go out to all of the places we've never been. One of these places we went to a week ago was The Red Room downtown. Thursday nights are half price sangria and salsa lessons! The sangria is delicious, and salsa, well, it was much better than I imagined. Not many of my friends were all that interested in making fools of themselves attempting salsa, but Marie and I jumped right in. When we almost had it, we were supposed to turn around and find a boy - I just thought "uh oh . . . I'm out." Well, until I had a nice guy ask me to dance - I was surprised at how good he was - and he definitely made me feel like I knew what I was doing :) We ended up dancing the night away and chatting. Needless to say, salsa was a lot of fun, and I am excited about getting some more practice in this coming week before my partner leaves the big city. Again, I have to thank Jesse for having a birthday!

Also since my last post, I attended the Deeper Still Women's Event in Greensboro (I think I may have mentioned it a few posts ago). This event, which I attended with my mum, was absolutely amazing - hearing words I needed to hear from three incredible christian women was so encouraging. I won't go into tons of detail (though you know I would like to), but I will give you the general idea.

Kay Arthur spoke on Friday night - she is 75 years old, and I am pretty sure she could recite the Bible from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:20 (this would be the entire book). She had a verse for everything, and Beth Moore wasn't kidding when she stated that Kay would teach all 66 books of the Bible during her time on Friday night. While she really only taught from Hebrews, I feel like I did get the entire Word in an hour and a half time frame. Kay focused on marrying faith with what the word says in order to find rest and peace in the Lord. It all comes down to belief - we have a choice to believe or not to believe the word. However, in order to find rest, we must believe, and we must have faith. I found this sermon to be ironic as before the message began, I was explaining to my mom the tattoo I want which is 'faith' in the arch of my foot. No, I don't believe God was confirming that I get a tattoo (I am too chicken), but it was odd.

Priscilla Shirer spoke on Saturday morning. She focused on two verses: Ephesians 3:20-21. The point of her message was that God is able to do more than we can ever dream up in our little human heads - He has the ability to go "beyond the beyond." She, too, focused on the idea of belief - all we have to do it believe that God is able and the rest is on Him - we cannot make Him do anything, but if we believe He can do what we ask and then some, great things WILL happen. I throughly enjoyed Priscilla, and I am pretty sure we could hang on a regular basis.

Beth Moore spoke on Saturday afternoon. I was so excited to see this little ball of fire live in action. Beth's message was about Jesus being the bread of life and the only thing which can truly satisfy us. She focused on building a relationship with God and simply enjoying His presence. I love that Beth is so real; she and the other women really put things into perspective and made real world connections.

I throughly enjoyed these three inspirational women and Travis Cottrell (our worship leader); The weekend was full of worship, love, laughter, encouragement, and truth. The Lord did some amazing things which were completely unexpected - He definitely brings things full circle and uses us in ways we may not even know about.

Another highlight of my summer I have yet to mention is the amazing dinners I have had with my sweet friends on Tuesday nights every week. Throughout this summer we have gotten together to eat, duh, at various restaurants around town. Most of these girls are recent MC grads (Ashley L, Whitney, Anna, Joanna, Lauren, Katie, Ashley K, and sometimes Krystle), and the rest of us seniors to be (Me, Jesse, and Marie). It's always a good time to catch up and enjoy eachother's company :)

I am currently at home with the family - last visit before school starts in a few short weeks. I will post tomorrow to fill you in on what I have been up to in Morganton this weekend! I apologize for the brevity and lack of detail about the past few weeks; I WILL do better in the coming days! xoxo

Time Sure Does Fly, Huh?

2009-07-19T22:10:00.005-04:00

I am sure this phrase will be one that I use daily for the next year. I am always shocked by how quickly time passes, and I always hate that feeling of "where has the time gone?" As I mentioned before, I don't want to miss a thing (Aerosmith knew what they were singing about), and I often forget how quickly things begin and often end. This is no new revelation as I have been making this statement since the 9th grade - when I got my permit, my driver's license, graduated high school, came to college, etc - these are all things that required attention to the fact that "it seem[ed] just like yesterday when I was _____."

I had yet another one of these moments this past weekend when I realized that I had just completed my LAST Teaching Fellows requirement as a student. It's seems like just yesterday I was sitting on the chaise in tears with my mum because I received the scholarship to Meredith College - it really was an answered prayer and a dream come true. I did choke up a little today when Jo Ann Norris pointed out that this was it. My thoughts on being a senior in college are extremely bittersweet - and I cannot believe I have come so far! Now, I still have a long way to go, but I remember when I couldn't even fathom the idea of going away to school, getting involved, and living in my own apartment - but here I am!

I am not one to really get pumped out of mind about these teaching fellows events, but I always try to make the best of the situation. These are the times when I must strive and really be on guard against negativity. I feel that I am constantly surrounded by negative comments, and I always try to find the positive and bring it out; however, I often fall into the trap. I had the thought that I absolutely despise negativity in my life - it does nothing but make me cranky and bring everyone around me down. I recognized how we complain about other peoples' negative attitudes, but isn't that being negative in itsself? When others speak of me, I desire positve things to be said rather than what my friends and I discussed about "so and so being so negative all the time - I just try to avoid so and so at these things..." I hope that I uphold and radiate more positive than negative energy; I hope others can note that I am kind, genuine, optimistic, dependable, and loving - do not be mistaken in thinking I think oh so highly of myself - I mean, I do think I am great; however, I am not responsible, and I cannot take credit for any qualties I possess - I guess I strive to maintain such traits, but ultimately I am who I am because of Him - He gets all the glory. It is by His mercy and grace that I am on this earth, and it is because of His faithfulness that I am where I am and I believe what I believe. Yes, all of that to say that I have considered what sorts of impressions I give people and how my actions support or deny such traits or qualities I claim. I know, I know, I shouldn't care what people think, but consider where my mind is in this - I am defined by Jesus Christ - plain and simple - therefore, I hope to possess the same characteristics He has - and I hope I am living my life in a way in which this is evident and people can testify in support of this idea. Got it? Great! A+ . . . scratch and sniff stickers for everyone!

So, at the conference, I was able to catch up with some friends while attending teacher stuff - some of it was relevant, but a lot of it will only make sense once I am in the classroom and have my own experiences. Like I said, I try to make the best of it all and take what I can from each session. I throughly enjoyed the opportunity to hear inspirations like Brad Cohen and Ron Clark. They each made a statement in their presentations that stuck with me, and I would like to share those to you who are still reading :)

Brad Cohen, a teacher who has succeeded greatly even though he has tourette's syndrome, was talking about his frustrations when he was a new teacher struggling to find a job. He expressed that this was a negative experience which really brought him down some days - still, very few people believed in his abilities to become a successful teacher. He made the statement along the lines that it's okay to be negative; it's okay to have a bad day, but you cannot stay there - you have to get up the next day with a new outlook otherwise you will be nothing but miserable. This really struck me as I pondered my past and the growth I have made in realizing that it's okay to feel particular emotions, but I cannot dwell in that place - I must make a choice within myself to overcome whatever it is (the emotion and the trigger of said emotion) whether it be a person, an event, or "just one of those days." It was okay to feel somewhat frustrated on Friday about having to go to UNCC for the weekend, but I had to shift my thinking (aka: say a little prayer) and not let myself just sit in that pool of negativity as I mentioned previously. I can also connect this to the classroom in that my kids will drive me crazy - it's their job as middle and high schoolers, but I have to wake up the next day with a fresh mindset. I also connect this to my relationship with Christ - I may have a day where I am just confused, unsure, frustrated, doubtful, and maybe even a little angry - I shouldn't be, but it happens once in a while when things don't seem to be matching up the way I imagined (mistake #1). I can't stay upset with Him - I can still be confused, but I have to change my mindset, rest in what I do know, and recogize that faithfulness that I have experienced and know that His mercies are new every morning - tomorrow is a new day. In the same way, my "mercies" and attitude towards Him and the world should also renew each and every morning - good thought Brad, way to bring it home, buddy.

Ron Clark, a highly energetic, completely hilarious, ghetto fabulous white boy, was a teaching fellow at ECU back in the day. After teaching for five years in NC, he felt a call to teach in Harlem. He enabled kids to make unthinkable leaps and go on to become more than they ever thought possible. He now has his own school in Atlanta (I've seen the gate, but we didn't get to go inside) - a school which has received tons of national attention (you CAN vote however you like - youtube it if you don't understand). Anyway, he made a simple statement pertaining to his drive to teach kids in places like Harlem and not so classy parts of ATL -- he said "when you feel it in your heart, you just go for it - there's no holding back." Well, duh Ron - but really it's true! He mentioned that he believed in a higher power, and he believed that power (God) was responsible for such a calling and for such a thought. I am all about "following my gut" so this point was right on target for me and what seems to be going on in my life at the moment. Obviously I cannot pursue all that I would like, but the Lord definitely lays things on my heart that I either need to be confident in, wait for, or go after. I always struggle with is this God or is this me? With further confirmations, I have come to determine current situations are Him (well, until He reveals otherwise). Now I still have zero idea of where my life is going - and I am totally okay with that - I do feel some things in my heart, and while I will not just go for it at this moment, I am in constant prayer and waiting for the Lord to continue to reveal more details. For one issue, I am researching, and I know that when I get warm - He WILL speak. As for other things that He has put on my heart, He is telling me to wait - I had multiple instances last week where I encountered God saying "not yet" as opposed to a straight up "no." I am just trying to figure out if I am applying this all to the situations He intends - again, until I hear otherwise, I will rest in what I know or think I know - I digress, but I encourage you to think about this quote - if the Lord lays it on your heart; if you're feelin' it - GO FOR IT! JUST DO IT! If you make the wrong move, you will be redirected, but isn't it worth a shot? I think so! I obviously use my brain way too much - I am aware - I like to hit the higher levels of Bloom's taxonomy by applying such concepts or thoughts to the real world. Cheesy summary - follow your heart - it's usually on target.

See, doesn't time fly when you are having fun - reading blogs and such?! I'm sure you're thinking "wow, I didn't think I would ever finish reading this!" Ta-Da - I hope you have enjoyed my reflection on my weekend in the queen city; you can go back to work now, but make sure to stay positive! Also remember that time is what life is made of - don't waste it; make the best of what time you have; take advantage of every possible opportunity you can; LOVE EVERY SECOND!

Happy Hump Day!

2009-07-15T14:15:00.002-04:00

I am so incredibly glad that today is Wednesday - this week is flying by, and while I hate to wish time away, I cannot wait to head west tomorrow afternoon! I am currently hanging out in the Learning Center and thought I could post some of my reflections on the week - no, they are not very insightful, but it's something for you to read :)

My thoughts on the bachelorette are unclear - I just don't know what to think. I loved Ed until he revealed his legs (which are nicer than mine will ever be) and his completely unattractive wardrobe. I can't help but think there is more going on with him that ABC has incorporated into the drama - it does have to be the MOST DRAMATIC season ever, ya know. I went into shock when Reid was sent home - we know that Kiptyn is the next bachelor (or so we've heard); therefore, he cannot win, right? If he and Ed are the final 2, who do you think wins? It's not rocket science, huh? WAIT! According to a few sources, Reid does not attend the Men Tell All taping - this is quite unusual and means he must make an appearance on the finale. I would have been happy with Reid or Ed (good think I am not in a position to choose), but I think Reid just touches my heart with his genuine personality. He really does care, yet he struggles to express his emotions in words - a typical male for sure. All of this is just ramble, ramble, but the good stuff starts here: I have Reid Rosenthal's cell phone number in my contacts. Yes, my friends and I reverted back to being 13 and called him leaving a silly message on the count of 3 - 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . "We love you Reid!!" Really? He definitely has not returned my call, and my name is probably on a do not answer list with the title of "potential stalkers." Hey, it's not my fault that his information is so public! Anyway, I can't wait to see what twist this season takes, and I sure hope ABC finds contentment in the amount of lives they unfairly portray. I have a serious love/hate relationship with the show, and I am not sure why I continue to watch it. I love the adventure, and I am terribly jealous of the cool things Jillian and her boys get to do together from spending time in foreign places riding in helicoptors, climbing mountains, taking leaps of faith, sailing, and more. However, I absolutely hate the drama, and I am so glad it is not mine. It's all beginning to be a bit ridiculous . . . but I still sit in front of the television for two hours on Monday nights - so unhealthy for my emotional well being.

Last night was the midnight premiere of Harry Potter! I had waited two years for this, and while watching it at southpoint was nothing near being in the royal circle of the Odeon Theatre in Leceister Square, it worked. I went to see it with the Hollanders: my family away from home. The movie not only started half an hour later than planned but also cut off at a crucial part of the last ten minutes - fail. I will say that I was not very impressed overall - I mean it is HP which makes it all worthwhile, but where was the good stuff. I feel like it was just a teenage romance flick - yes, I am aware that it was supposed to be a bit, but I didn't receive the message that it would take over the movie along with lighthearted jokes. It was 'cute,' but it was not up to par with previous wizard films. Battle anyway? nah. I do have to say that Dumbledore is the man (or the wizard, maybe I should say?). Reading the books is a must as so much was left out of this flick - I will definitely be re-reading before November 2010 when the first half of the next book is revealed on the big screen. Overall, last night was worth the hype of dressing in scarlet and gold to represent the house of Gryffindor - who will prevail in the end - and taking part in a classic rendition of "The Mysterious Ticking Noise."As far as previews went, I cannot wait for Where the Wild Things are; it will be a classic!

I got home around 4am, almost broke my toe, woke up at 8:20, made it to work by 9:00 - this is why I am pooped. I cannot wait to get home to take a quick nap, shower, and begin packing before church tonight! Work will probably go by super slow tomorrow but come 2pm, Vicki the Volvo, myself, and Sara will be hitting the road.

Other thoughts of the week include:

I have been incredibly patient recently - God totally gets the credit for that.
While I am being patient and at peace, there are just a few things that will not escape my mind - God could deserve the credit for this as well, but I am just not sure if it's Him or me.
My bank account hates me, and my financially literate self needs to get it together.
I've yet to begin my Italian lessons - so much for following through so far.
My tan is fading - I haven't been by the pool since Friday (my skin is probably thankful).

Happy Hump Day, friends.

I've Got Sunshine . . .

2009-07-13T15:05:00.003-04:00

Rain, rain, go away, come again... never. Jk, jk - we need the rain, and it makes for a good day to curl up inside. I could be miserable in the "mist" of it all, but I have no reason to be! It may be raining outside, but my life is full of sunshine! I feel like last week flew by, but I think it was because I had so much going on in my mind and in my heart. Thankfully, that is all settled, and I can look forward to all of the exciting things going on this week.

It's Monday which means I worked, and I get to cook dinner and watch The Bachelorette with my sweet friends! It's down to the final 3, and I'm rooting for Mr. Ed - he's way handsome, super sweet, and the best match for Jillian in my opinion. Reid is super cute too, but I just don't know if he is ready. Either of these men could call me if they wanted. haha - ok, not really.

Tuesday comes with more work, tuesday night dinner with girlfriends, and the midnight showing of Harry Potter!!! I feel like I have been waiting forever for Harry - it's been since London in 2007 - that is two years absent of HP in case you needed me to do the math. I will never forget going to the premiere - standing in the monsterous hail storm just to get a glimpse of the cast on the red carpet. We watched the movie three times in the same theatre - in the royal circle, of course. Southpoint Cinemas won't be quite the same experience; however, I will be with my beloved Katherine with whom I saw the fifth movie across the pond. I kind of want to dress up just to be silly, but I won't . . . I outgrew my cape last summer. It's kind of crazy to think that this series began when I was in middle school, and it won't end until I am a college graduate. Luckily I didn't really appreciate Harry until two years ago, and I haven't actually been waiting since the 7th grade.

Wednesday is an extra long work day as I work in the LC for five hours in the afternoon. It's exhausting, but Wednesday nights are pretty amazing since I get to go to Bay Leaf, learn about and worship Jesus, and see my new friends who I just love!

Thursday I get to head west with Sara Lynn in tow! We're going to stay in Morganton for the night before heading to Charlotte for Senior Conference on Friday - our last committment to the North Carolina Teaching Fellows (well except for that whole teaching for four years in NC thing)! Woo hoo! I am not super excited, but it will be nice to catch up with some folks from other schools. I made the best of Junior Conference, and I hope to do the same this year. I mostly just excited about going home to see my parents and pets for the night - I am sure my sweet Emma Claire is missing me dearly.

I am also hoping to begin learning Italian this week - it's been a goal for the summer. It is July 13th, I am aware, but I hope I can accomplish something in the next month. I got some software for MC, and I am praying for a miracle. In addition to learning a new language, I am really into Beth Moore's "Breaking Free." I am reading the book and doing the study - it's pretty amazing stuff. Mom and I are going to the Deeper Still conference (with Beth, Kay, and Priscilla) in a few weeks, and I am definitely looking forward to that as well.

I'm obviously looking to the sunny side of life even though it's dreary out. I am praying that I won't look forward to these exciting events so much that I forget the little things as I mentioned in my last post. Now, I am going to enjoy some diet coke and possibly take a little nap before my evening begins! Hope everyone is having a Marvelous Monday :)

The Little Things

2009-07-11T21:59:00.002-04:00

"What is one thing you fear most or will regret as you get older?" This is a question that my friends and I discuss during our Tuesday night dinners as we go through "table topics," a deck of conversation starter cards for women. My answer to this question is always the same, and I have two answers:

I will wake up one day and suddenly realize I have wrinkles, and I will wonder where in the world they came from.
I will miss out on something and never get the chance to experience whatever it is.

I love to plan; I love to look ahead; and I love to know what big event is next on my list. When I am not looking forward to an event or the start of something new, I often find myself in a rut of sorts - this is when my anxious heart begins to surface. As I have pondered my tendancy to look ahead, I have realized that I often miss out on the little things - I forget about the ordinary, everyday things that bring joy to my life. This is a problem for me - I do not want to miss out on the little things that happen while I wait for something else. The small things add up; they are little blessings from above, and they make for a beautiful, beautiful life. The small, ordinary things are what make life extraordinary!

I gained a lot of this insight as I read Jenny Simmons' blog. Jenny, the lead vocalist for Addison Road, explores the fact that we experience more "ordinary" time and that this time is where real life happens. She is so right. Real life happens all the time, in all circumstances - whether it be good, bad, or ugly - life happens. We often remember the bad and the ugly, but we tend to forget about the good stuff that makes the world and the lives we lead a little more joyful. It is so easy to overlook the beauty that surrouds you, the sweet message from a dear friend, a kind interaction with a stranger, the warmth of a hug, the smile of a child, or whatever it is that brings a smile to our faces.

The little things I took note of today included:

the physical ability to paint my room
Miss Sara taking part in my project and helping out
the encouraging words of an old friend
the sunshine coming through my window
air conditioning
the ability to see a beautiful color
a hot shower
the kind sales lady at Lifeway who looked high and low for a book I was looking for
date night with my sweet roommate which included good food and lots of laughs

Most importantly, I felt God's presence. I think I often forget that He is always right there. I enjoyed Him and His company while I had some "me" time this morning - I call it "me, myself, and God" time. I was just so thankful for His grace and His love; I am also thankful for the patient people He has put in my life, and their ability to show me a little grace when I am not at my best.

I challenge you to take note of the small beauties that you encounter everyday. It all starts with recognizing and being thankful for a new day - another day the Lord has granted us on this earth. I promise that finding joy in the small things and being thankful for the good, bad, and the ugly will produce a positive attitude and a joyful disposition. And as for the big things, JC has it under control; He'll drive the car, you just look out the window and enjoy it :)

So Blessed

2009-07-08T14:39:00.004-04:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like you should NOT be behind the wheel of a car? Well, this has been a whole week of that - literally - I should have been in three accidents, and it's only Wednesday. I am incredibly thankful that someone upstairs is keeping an eye on me and protecting me from such dangers. I guess I could also compare these experiences with other areas of my life - when I am behind the wheel, disaster happens. After my close call this morning, I took some time to reflect on the bright side of life and the blessings that are being poured out :)

I had a nice long chat with my momma last night - I really do not tell her enough how much I love her and appreciate all she does. She is there for me through everything, and she is so real with me (maybe that's where I get my "realness" from?). She always knows the right things to say even if she doesn't think she's saying much; her advice is priceless, and I hope to be as wise as she is one day. I am so blessed to have a mother who loves me this much and who is so in tune with what I think and feel. As I get older, I find that our chats become more conversation, and I have definitely become more open in sharing my thoughts and ideas. As we conversed last night, we put our heads together and came up with the best analogy for God's plan. We decided it was like sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office. You have an appointment, but you never know how long you'll have to wait. You see the nurse come to the door with a folder, and you perk up in hopes that you're next. When she doesn't call your name after a while, you begin to get really anxious and annoyed. You know you have an appointment and that you will see the doctor before the office closes, but you may become doubtful. Mom reminded me that we don't get up and go peck on the attendant's window every five minutes to see if we're still in the system, and we shouldn't be this way with God. Essentially, waiting is the hardest part; you hate to see everyone go before you, but the perscription you receive once you make it behind that door is so worth it and so far beyond anything you could ever imagine. I am blessed with a creative mother, for sure.

Another blessing came today when I received a message from one of my "sons" from Legislators' School last summer. He and I chat every now and again, but a few months ago, he messaged me to tell me that he was so thankful to be a part of my "family" that week. He added that I was a great mom :) It was just the sweetest compliment - I am by no means ready to be a mother now, but I sure hope my real kids say that one day. After responding to him last night, I got a message from him exclaiming how much he appreciated me and my advice to him - he promised to keep his chin up just because I said so. haha. I had no idea I had impacted these kids so much, and to still be in contact with them and encouraging them a year later means so much to me. His message was such a confirmation that I did make some difference in those kids' lives last summer and that I am definitely called to work with youth. I can't even begin to explain how much I miss these kids and how often I think about them and just smile; they may have impacted me more than I did them - the staff too - Scott, Marcus, Emily, Ryan, Dante, Jacob, Josh, Erica, Nikki, Jasmine, Lydia, Amber, April, etc - i love you all!

As I write this, I just finished having a great conversation with a fellow tutor in the Learning Center. We've always chatted about random things, but today, we had a bit of a heart to heart. She was such a blessing as she continued to reinforce what I have been studying in the Word as well as confirming what I know. I just feel like God is showing himself every way I turn, and I just love it. He wants me to get it, and I think I can say that I am "getting it" or I hope to be at least.

I do not write this to brag or be prideful - only to share my thoughts with you and express thanks for the life I have been given. This week has been full of reminders that He knows just what I need; He is at work making it happen - mom reminded me that He could handle the steering wheel while I slept. I don't know what's in store next, but I am ready for it. I will wait patiently and trust Him - I will try not to go tap on the glass to make sure I'm still on the list. I have to stick to what I believe and what I know to be true - the rest will fall into place. Until then, I will be calm, at peace, and joyful :)

PS: I just left my desk to tutor, and the sweetest woman blessed me with a gift card to starbucks. I am not sure if the Lord is confirming I should continue going every morning seeing as I have been the past three, or if He's just trying to save me some money - probably the latter of the two.

Happy Birthday, 'merica!

2009-07-05T09:01:00.003-04:00

The Fourth of July is always a fun holiday. It's in the middle of summer making it the perfect holiday to celebrate in the sun, on a boat, away from home, with family, etc. It's a day to enjoy amazing food and for some, get a little crazy/ be "American."

I spent my holiday weekend at the beach with Miss Katherine and her sweet family. I drove down to North Myrtle Beach on Thursday evening after a super stressful day at work; I arrived just in time for a big family dinner. I was able to meet the whole Hollander family as Kat's dad's three siblings and their children were there. We woke up Friday morning and hit the beach for the day. Katherine and I took our chairs to the water and shared some fun conversation ranging from finances to old relationships to new relationships to thoughts on life to reminicing our time abroad. It's never boring, and I just love a good chat with her; I had my book in my hand, but it did not get opened - this is what happens when two fun girls get together.

After soaking up the sun on the beach and in the pool of our luxury beachfront home, we took a little time to get pretty and go do a little shopping. Somehow, Katherine and I both resisted spending money - it was a first for sure! We then had dinner with the family remaining at Greg Norman's Australian Grill at Barefoot Landing. I had the most delicious lobster ravioli you could dream about. yummm.

Now to celebrating the actual holiday . . . we woke up saturday, packed up, ate breakfast, and took a short trip north to Wrightsville Beach. We took a walk around the marina and then put on the suits for an afternoon by the pool. At the marina, there was a shrimperoo taking place - this was similar to a low country boil - aka: real good. With our tummies stuffed, Katherine, Chesley, and I sat up on the sunset deck to watch the sunset. It was a moment that I wished I had my camera, but at the same time, it was nice to just enjoy the moment and reflect on nature and admire the beauty of it all. Anytime I watch the sun set or rise, I am guarenteed to feel my closest to the Lord. It's like we all have that place we go to feel nearer to Him - no matter where I am, the sun does it for me. It's the most amazing feeling, and while I have never seen a sunset comparable with those in Ana Capri, Italia, I get chills as I just sit in awe of what surrounds me. Once the sun set, I found a new love for the moon as I admired it reflecting off the water; I decided that being on a sail boat with a really sweet boy under the moonlight might be a perfect moment :)

So, anyway, the fireworks began around 9pm - from where we were, the sky was filled. It was as if all of New Hanover county was in a competition for the best fireworks. I had a bit of an emotional moment, and I thought of being at war - Katherine and I discussed how for our generation, war is so far away that it is almost non existant except for those who are there. My brother is in Iraq, and while he is not in the line of fire, it's still a war - I always forget this. I just imagined what it would have been like during the revolutionary war, and I suddenly felt more patriotic than I have in a while. It is ironic though considering how much I talk about the brits and my love for them and their country, haha.

The evening continued with a night out with Katherine, her beau (Eric), and some of their childhood friends. We went the the palm room to hear Drew's (their friend) band play. It was a smoky place, but other than that, it was a fun night. I absolutely love people watching and just hanging out with new folks. It was quite hilarious considering the looks I got from a few guys - they were so creepy, but I just could not keep a straight face when they looked my way - it made for some good laughs. After returning to the Hollander home, I spent a little while on the telephone partaking in some good conversation with a good friend - such a perfect way to end the day :)

I headed home today after a good breakfast and being lazy. Traffic was awful, but I made it back just in time to clean up a little and get to small group. I had been looking forward to catching up with my new friends all day, and I couldn't have asked for a better note to end the weekend on. I love my life and everything that is happening in it right now. Life.is.good.

In a Nutshell

2009-07-01T16:40:00.009-04:00

It's Wednesday . . . this week is crawling slower that you could ever imagine. I think I am just so pumped about the weekend, and I feel like it cannot get here soon enough. I don't have to work Friday, so I am going to the beach for a few days with the Hollanders - whoo hoo!

I have been working hard all week, and as I sit here putting in my five hours at the Learning Center, I feel the need to blog about something. I was going through old facebook notes, and I found the "25 random things about me," and I felt inspired to write a fun blog about me in an unselfish sort of way :) So, here are a few (maybe too many) things about me you may or may not know.

Traveling is my passion. I wish I had the time and money to go everywhere I want to go.

I love High School Musical, and I am not even trying to hide it.

I had out of school suspension for a day in middle school. don't want to talk about it.

I really do enjoy sports.

I refuse to drive a mini van one day. I will have a cute "mom" SUV that doesn't scream "mom with whiny kids on board."

I was drum major my senior year of high school. As geeky as it sounds, it was one of the best/most exciting things I have ever been a part of! Yay marching band!

I am finding that my patience is increasing - answered prayer for sure.

I have grown closer to a lot of friends in the past year, and I am more thankful than ever for them.

I am way too involved, but I balance life well. It can be difficult, but I try not to stress - Life is too short.

I secretly wish I could be on Project Runway.

I put everything I have into everything I do - this can produce positive and negative results.

I am glad things haven't always gone my way. I now see the fruit of broken hearts, let downs, and frustrations.

I love to laugh, and I laugh often. I truly believe it to be the best medicine, and laughing at yourself is a must if you want to keep your sanity.

I regret never sticking with anything as a youngster (dance, sports, piano, etc.).

As much as I like to think I am a healthy person, I know I make the worst decisions when it comes to food . . . It's just not as good when it's good for you . . .

I am aware that I am young, and I still have a whole lot of years ahead of me (hopefully).

I have an obsession with music. I am always searching for something new, and it is always on in the background.

My heart breaks for the poor.

Somedays, I think I could be an actress.

I believe the simplest gestures go a long way.

I used to be a Duke fan, but I converted when I realized what was best for me.

I love God.

I am a sucker for the Disney Channel and cheesy pre-teen movies.

I think Disney World is a super fun place.

I miss going on regular family vacations.

If I won the lottery, I would . . . wait . . . I will never play the lottery.

I am writing my thesis on financial literacy.

Life has given me a few lemons in the last year, but I think I have made some pretty bangin' lemonade.

I was named after a soap opera character, and my middle name means sexy according to one source.

My favorite physical trait about the opposite sex is eyes - there just has to be something about the way he looks at me . . . whomever he may be.

I love to read, and I think I should make more time to do so; my reading list is getting longer by the day.

I would skydive.

Spending three months in Europe is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I would really be okay playing apple to apples everyday of my life.

I appreciate others, and I hope others appreciate me.

I believe in l-o-v-e.

I want to pursue event planning at some point in my life.

If I had to live somewhere else in the USA besides NC, I would choose South Carolina or Georgia.

Cheese is one of my favorite foods.

I put too much faith in other people sometimes.

I plan to teach, but I have so many other goals as well.

My most recent goal is to ride in a hot air balloon.

I value people more than anything. Relationships are so much more important to me than anything else in life; I drop anything for a friend in need.

Late night chats are my favorite . . . especially face-to-face.

I know where my roots lie, and I am confident in who I am.

I love being outside: sunbathing, hiking, playing games . . . anything so long as I am outside.

My beverage of choice is diet coke or sweet tea . . . tough call.

Sunrises. Sunsets. Star Gazing. Amazing.

Blue is my new favorite color.

I am a bargain shopper. I rarely buy anything full price.

Meredith College has my heart, and I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.

All I really want is to be repected and loved for exactly who I am - beauties and flaws.

I love my parents more than I tell them. I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am without them. They have been my saving grace.

That's about all I can come up with for now, but I suppose this is enough. Now, when anyone says "tell me about yourself," I can say "read my blog." However, if that response is too rude, I can read it to them.

The Lord Works in A Strange Way

2009-06-28T22:25:00.005-04:00

Corey Smith hit the nail on the head with the title of this song - the Lord definitely works in the strangest ways. I suppose it is so we are continually amazed by Him and reminded that He definitely knows what He is doing up there.

Now I haven't been possessed by Satan or anything, but I am honest enough to say that my walk as a believer has not been what it should be the last year; I have been very indifferent and stuck in the middle. The frustrating thing about it all is that I knew this all along, but I just wasn't sure what to do to fix it. Okay, well I knew what I needed to do, but I became so fed up with lack of immediate results and gave up too quickly. But, thank God (literally) that I have been on the serious road to recovery the past few months. I have been very private about this as I have tried to get back and sort it all out in my own mind and heart, but I finally feel that I am at a point of contentment and excited to be back on track; I feel like I have a good plan for moving forward :)

I'm sure you are wondering how all of this came to be as many of you probably had no idea of the struggle I have had - again, that whole privacy thing. I think I've been craving that closeness I've always had with God, but I didn't quite recognize it all until I read this fabulous book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love. It was recommended by a new friend, so I bought it - I have read it twice and made a million notes. It is a book which discusses the crazy love we should have for Christ and others; essentially it addresses the lukewarm Christian and really all of us who consider ourselves believers since we are all human and struggle with the same ole stuff.

Francis Chan begins by really unveiling the power of Christ as he explores the universe and how intricate it is - only God could create something with such detail and precision. He continues to note our weaknesses as human beings and investigates why we struggle to be so on fire 24/7. I won't give you the chapter by chapter summary because you should read it, but I will tell you how much this information challenged me spiritually. It is a bit "in your face" which tends to turn a lot of people off, but it is just what I needed to really recognize the state of my heart. It is so tough when we face the reality of examining ourselves. It is so easy to judge everyone else, but we hate to admit faults in our own lives. I realized that I make a lot of excuses for my walk and why I am where I am and not where my heart desires to be; we have no excuse not to believe and therefore no excuse not to be in awe of Him and His creations. Francis really stresses the idea of how content we become and how we forget the powerful force behind everything surrounding us. He acknowledges that we all have questions, but he assures us that there is hope. Francis believes that these are all truths of which we are aware but that we needed to be reminded. He states that we get so caught up in the normalcy of life and the danger in this is we might miss out. Therefore I had to acknowledge my anxieties for the unknown. Those of you who know me well know that I worry way to much about the silly things, yet I attempt to keep my laid back approach to life. There is no need to be stressed about anything - this I have always known. Nothing on Earth has eternal significance whether it be grades or material things - why should I stress about such things? I shouldn't - I could be missing out!

The biggest truth in all of this and the one thing Francis wants us to hear is that God will shower us with love and grace regardless of how many times we fall. We do not deserve the gift we have been given, but God is merciful; the creator of the universe loves us, and He wants us to love Him in return. It's not about religion; it's not about a cult; it's not about a title; it's not about fame; it's about becoming intimate with the one person who will never fail you. This book and its message is not complicated by any means - it simply goes back to the basics and reminds us of why we are here.

Basically, I didn't really learn much of anything new, but I found a new perspective and realized how much I do love the Lord and desire to be of use for His purpose. I have a heart for the world and the people in it, and I do want to make a difference. I have slowly discovered in the last few months that I have a heart for missions, and I wonder if that has stemmed from my passion for traveling combined with my desire to help others whether they be locals or abroad. I have also received several loving reminders that I need to be still and wait for Him for answers. I tell myself everyday that I know the Lord is waiting on me to be content before He makes His next move - I need to stop searching for the answers in the wrong places and really let Him show me what's in store.

I am getting to that place, and He is on the move. Some amazing things have happened in the last week or so, and I have encountered tons of new people who I believe have been specifically placed in my life for a reason. I am continuing to grow closer to my girlfriends, and I could not ask for a better summer even in the midst of the frustration I have also encountered.

I finally found a new church where I feel I belong. Thanks to inspiration and the 21st century technology known as google, I was able to find a church just up the road with a pastor born and raised in Burke County (my hometown). I took a huge step by going to Bay Leaf Baptist Church on my own and taking the initiative to introduce myself to Marty, the pastor. He then introduced me to the college/singles pastor, and the next thing I knew, I was in Sunday School with tons of new faces - all so incredibly welcoming. I saw a girl who I have met before, and eventually realized that three recently made friends attend this church as well . . . "it's a small world after all . . . " literally. I also went to small group, and I am so excited to see where the Lord leads me in this environment; He has been faithful thus far in everything, and He has carried me much further than I thought possible. Yayy Jesus :)

Check it out: www.crazylovebook.com

An Ode to My Beautiful Friends

2009-06-19T09:01:00.005-04:00

It is amazing to me how quickly things can turn around . . . well - so long as there are amazing friends in the mix. I mean it's not as if this guy I mentioned was terribly serious, but it's always disappointing when things don't quite work out the way you had hoped. You always know it's for the best, but it just takes a few days. I am the type who just has to talk about it - just vent for a few days- and exercise more than normal, then I am good.

However the best part of the whole process is the reminder of how wonderful the people are your life. It's not as if I wasn't aware, but we can all use a little reminder here and there. It's not how everyone enjoys keeping you occupied to prevent you from thinking about the situations at hand. I can just let go, be me, and have a good time - no matter who it is. God has truly blessed me with some amazing friends, and I would like to take a moment to tell you a little bit about them.

I have my roommate Sara, of course, who is always around to just listen - she claims to not have much advice which is totally okay with me - I just like to have reassurance that I am not crazy and that I am allowed to have certain thoughts and feelings. She tries to feed my emotions with food and retail therapy - which isn't always the best for my wallet, but I like it anyway :)

My wisest, amazingly beautiful, super fun friend Katherine just makes my life. period. We studied abroad together and have been best friends ever since. We keep in touch better than I can keep up with some of the girls I go to school with. Kat is just my go to girl - she always seems to know exactly what I am feeling and how to put it all into perspective. She will take it upon herself to feel what I feel, and she allows my emotions to run the usual course without criticizing me yet keeping me in check.

I lay by the pool with Julia & Whitney. They are always there to listen and tell me what they think. They remind me of what is good about the situation and sympathize with me. These sweet girls always have a good "I know someone else this happened to" story which makes me feel much less crazy. These girls are just straight up fun, and they always make me laugh.

Ashley and Jesse always bring a smile to my face, but they (especially Ashley) is always very blunt. It's one thing I love about her - we all need that one friend who can tell us exactly how it is word for word without trying to make implications and beat around the bush. I have so much in common with these two, and since we have spent a great deal of time traveling to Disney World (twice), being around them is always relaxed. Last night we cooked dinner together and went to see 17 Again which allowed me to drool over Zac Efron. We also went through some girls' night out cards the other night. I loved this because it opened up the floor for random conversations and gave us the opportunity to go a little deeper and really learn stuff about eachother. I just always look forward to hanging out with them.

Carol, Carolyn, VC, and Emily also complete my life. They are just a blast, and they always make me feel comfortable just being me - they actually laugh at my jokes even if they aren't all that funny. Carol and I are both FCS majors, and I hate that we weren't such good friends before this past year. Carolyn was my snuggle buddy at Disney this past trip, and I keep thinking how happy I am that I finally got some quality time with the girl. I just love these 4 girls, and I know that any time spent out with them is going to be full of laughs and stories to tell.

Marie is out of the country, but she deserves a shout out for being a great friend. Even from Denmark, she takes time to catch up on my life and inform me about what's going on in hers. She's just a hoot, and I can't wait to see her in July!

Last on my mind but especially not least is Miss Elizabeth. We were the best of friends growing up, and we recently reunited after about 3 years of nothing. We just spent hours trying to catch up on each others' lives and reminicing about the olden days. It's crazy how quickly you can fit right back where you were - those conversations when it feels like nothing ever changed and things have always been this way. I hope we will continue to keep in touch even from afar.

I am sure there are so many girls who make my life that I am leaving out of the mix, and if they read this, they know I love them - if not, they can give me a hard time about not including them :)

Friends really are an essential key to happiness, and I can never stress how important it is to make good ones who can make you laugh, comfort you when you cry, make you step outside your limits, and most of all - be real. My favorite is when a majority of these girls can all get together at once - talk about a super good time! This is the time of our lives to live it up, and you should put your money on it that we do. Boys will be boys - they will come and go; we will all have our moments that we aren't so proud of - regardless of the circumstances, I know these girls love me for me, and through all the ups and downs, that will never change.

Sweet Summertime

2009-06-02T09:52:00.006-04:00

sunshine. friends. sunscreen. sweat. good books. late nights.

I just love summertime. It's June and while it won't officially be summer until the 21st, the 95 degree weather is evidence that it's on its way. I don't really love to sweat and apply sunscreen, but it's all part of the good, bad, and the ugly of the season - sweating being ugly and sunscreen being good and bad. I am finally starting to turn brown, so I don't feel quite as obligated to continue reapplying every two hours or after being in the water :)

I am currently working in the Learning Center at Meredith for the summer. It's only five hours a week which means it's not as much money as I would like, but it works I suppose. I work when I want, and my afternoons are completely free for soaking up the sun by the pool at the new apartment. It's not crowded during the week, so it's easy to enjoy a good book or listen to my music loud. Pandora Radio is my newest obsession. I have always loved it and listened to it on the computer, but the ability to have it on my super smart iPhone just makes my life feel so complete. Today at work I created the best station ever . . . Wicked (The Original Broadway Cast) and others like it - The Lion King, Rent, Phantom, Beauty and the Beast, Hairspray, and so on. Amazing.

Speaking of Broadway, I recently purchased season tickets to next season's Suntrust Broadway Series at the Durham Performing Arts Center. I couldn't be more excited to see seven fabulous shows with one of my best friends, Katherine. It will be reminiscent of our days in London, but it'll be Durham, NC - okay, Durham is no London, but you know what I mean :) The seven shows I will see include: Cirque Illuminations, Grease (with Taylor Hicks as Teen Angel), Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, Spring Awakening, & Mamma Mia!

So back to summertime - what else have I been up to? Monday nights are spent watching The Bachelorette and Here Come the Newlyweds - my new favorite show. They are both on ABC - check them out. I've seen a few good movies including Angels & Demons, Terminator Salvation, and Up - this should have been called Up & Down considering the emotional roller coaster it created. I was mostly laughing because I couldn't believe I was crying over a Pixar movie.

I will be traveling to Morganton this week which I am oh so pumped about. I haven't been home in what seems like a lifetime. I can't wait to see the new house all put together and hang out with my parents. During my time at home, I will be completing my senior orientation in Haywood County Schools - woo. I have no interest in teaching there, but since I went to Disney, I had to switch my orientation week. I hope to catch up with some of my favorites from camp last summer while I am up there. Should be fun enough.

My life isn't too terribly exciting, but summer has barely begun. There are lots of opportunities for fun coming up - the pool is going to see lots of me; I hope to get some time at the beach; and those warm summer nights - well, they're my favorite.

Long Time, No Blog

2009-05-21T10:03:00.015-04:00

So, I am sure many of you are wondering what in the world I have been up to considering my lack of blogs recently. Well, I haven't forgotten, but I have been super busy. I managed to finish everything that needed to be finished to complete my junior year (weird), and I moved into my new apartment! In the midst of all that, I attended Class Day and Graduation to honor my sweet '09 friends.

Fast forward 24 hours, and I went to Disney World for eight days with my beautiful friends: Ashley, Jesse, and Carolyn. This would have been a great time to catch up on my blog since we did have free internet at our fancy Super 8, but I was exhausted and figured you didn't need every detail about my journeys through Epcot, Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and Animal Kingdom.

We had six days in the parks, so we visited all of them at least twice. We began the week soaring through Epcot where we enjoyed several yummy drinks from around the world. Here, we also stalked Alice and were determined to get a picture with her since she means so much to us (thanks to Meredith College tradition). I think we frightened her as Jesse and I sprinted towards her as soon as she walked out of her hiding place. She was an awkward Alice, but she was Alice none the less.

We continued to Animal Kingdom where we rode the Safari, met Safari Mickey, and reunited with my man, Donald. Throughout our days here, we rode the safari three times, made Carolyn ride her first real rollercoaster - Everest, watched Finding Nemo, and spent some time in the Tree of Life with Flick and his bug friends.

Magic Kingdom is quite the adventure. Dodging strollers/whiny kids/parents and hunting Princesses can really wear a girl out. It supposed to be the happiest place on Earth, but wait until about lunch time - that's when the fangs come out. I would say this is the most stressful park considering the amount of people there. We did do everything we planned and more including meeting a few Princesses, hanging out with Tinker Bell and her fairy friends, castle pictures, parades, fireworks, and our favorite "It's a Small World" (note: sarcasm).

Hollywood Studios (formerly known as MGM) might be my favorite. It's hard to say - I love them all, but I really cannot get enough of the high school musical 3 show. There is also the new American Idol Experience - coolest thing everr! It was just like being a part of the audience at a real show - cute host, harsh judges, and crazy fans. During our days here, we also met Sorcerer Mickey (my favorite), watched Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, took Carolyn on the Tower of Terror, rode Aerosmith's Rockin' Rollercoaster, and more.

Throughout the week, we spent some quality time with Vinnie and Josh - two boys that worked with Ashley at Safari. We also saw Anna Echols, a Meredith Grad who is now in Orlando decorating cakes; she's lots of fun! We spent a day at Clearwater Beach - we decided that it was the life - laying on a white beach with smooth, clear water. We made sure to hang around to see the sunset over the water (since that doesn't happen on the east coast) which was absolutely beautiful.

Now, I am back to real life, and it has taken me four days to complete this blog. What in the world have I been doing with my time? Absolutely nothing is the answer. I think I am finally recovered, but I need a new hobby asap.

Home Sweet Home

2009-04-19T15:48:00.011-04:00

Well, my parents and I said bye, bye to 313 East Main St. and hello to 1933 Camm Drive. I mean it isn't all that sad since we don't have to sell 313 right away, but moving everything made it so official. I went home to help, and I am sure my mom is glad I was there once she realized she needed me to organize the kitchen, make a Lowe's run, pick up and deliver food, etc. I was glad I went home, and I can't wait to see Camm Drive once everything gets organized!

This is our new home, though we have since added some pretty shutters.
Landscaping is definitely on the list of things to do.

Here's where you will find me on a warm, sunny day.

Brinks really liked the new grass, but he wasn't quite sure what all it meant to be 'moving.'

The End is Near . . .

2009-04-12T23:27:00.009-04:00

Summertime is just around the corner, and I could not be more excited! While I still have no idea what I am doing for work, I plan to catch some rays, hit the beach, play with my friends, and more. Basically, I cannot wait to be outside all the time! However, I cannot look too far ahead; there is much to be accomplished in the next three weeks. There are only twelve days of formal classes left as well as fun events and exciting changes. I am a bit overwhelmed by what has to be done, but I know it will be successfully completed. I am trying not to stress, but I am sure I will be in need of a mental health day come May.

Here is what my life looks like for the next three weeks . . .

I know I look really busy (if you can read this), and I am. BUT . . . HAVE NO FEAR! I will make time for my lovely fans :) I have realized in the last two years that school is important; however, do grades really hold eternal significance? No. This is why I don't stress! I will make it out alive, and then I can play all summer long (unless I find a job, of course).

PS: Where has the time gone? I'll ponder that thought and get back to you! Goodnight Friends :)

The Ultimate Four Letter Word

2009-04-11T22:23:00.017-04:00

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This simple word seems to take on so many complex meanings in our lives. We experience so many types of love along the way from the friendly love, the family love, the romantic love, and ultimately, the love that has been bestowed on us by our creator. I have personally experienced all of these at some point in my twenty one years of living. I believe myself to be full of love as I continuously give it even when I receive nothing in return.

I feel as though this weekend has been full of love as well. First and foremost, it is Easter. This holiday is a reminder of the sacrifice Christ made because of His love for us and a celebration of his resurrection which has brought us hope for the future.

My second experience of love was in the wee hours of my Saturday morning (okay, just 8am). I met Logan for coffee. This could have been quite a nerve racking as we have not spoken since August; however, I felt a peace about the meeting. I was hoping it would bring me some final closure as well as confirm my "moving forward" attitude. I held it together, surprisingly, and I felt a strong sense of strength and maturity as I drove away. Okay, so I got a little teary eyed in the car, but only because I feel that the Lord has finally given me a clearer understanding of selfless love. This love you hear about in the movies in which you care for someone so much that you genuinely want them to be happy even if it's not with you. I have felt this way for a while, but it all just came full circle. No I still don't understand what went wrong, and I probably won't ever get it until I have a chit chat with God in His office up in Heavenville. BUT, it's okay. I don't need to understand anything other than "all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28).

My third experience of love this weekend was in the wedding of Mrs. Jordan Link Kalkman! Sara and I went as one another's dates to this blessed event. I am pretty sure it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended. It was outside at Carrigan Farms in Mooresville, NC; the "venue" was surrounded by huge rocks, a small lake, lovely trees, and of course a beautiful blue sky. As we pulled down the gravel road, we saw Jordan and her new hubby Seth taking some pre wedding pics by the water; we were both ready to bring out the tissues already! She was a beautiful, beautiful bride, and I sure hope Seth realizes how lucky he is :) I am sure he did as I watched his face light up as she came down the sidewalk and eventually down the aisle. Grooms are always my favorite part; this might be the one time a man struggles to contain his emotions for his lady. It was precious, simply precious. Also, the pastor was amazing. He delivered his words so eloquently, and the vows Seth and Jordan wrote to one another were incredibly powerful. It was a nice reminder of the purpose for the occasion and the meaning of l.o.v.e.

On a lighter note, Sara and I felt quite awkward as we parked; there weren't many people there, and we realized the wedding was a 4:30 . . . not 4:00. We laughed about it, hung out, and made sure we had a good seat! We decided that since we didn't know a ton of people, this could be quite an interesting day. We began to find the humor in the things we did that made us feel completely out of place. Life is so much better when you can laugh you way through these sorts of moments. Below is a list of events that took place that made us giggle as we considered the worst case scenario . . .

Arriving way early, but luckily we weren't the only ones
Watching the groomsmen dress in front of their cars in the parking area
I got my show caught in a crack on a wooden bridge; I thought Sara had just stepped on me, so I kept walking as I was sure my shoe would just flip right back on my foot . . . Nope, not the case.
We suddenly realized how many people we did not know.
The groomsmen seemed quite uninformed when it came to seating. It was quite hilarious but fitting to the laid back environment. We sat ourselves, and we felt totally awkward doing so.
As we read the program, we realized the reception was open seating. This is totally cool, but we discussed the various ways the situation could play out. This was particularly hilarious as we had just been discussing the pros and cons of assigned and open seating.
As we were sitting there waiting for the ceremony to begin, I got a bit chilly and put on my jacket. I felt completely mismatched. I am sure no one else was looking.
The violinist's music began to fly away . . . this was only funny because we all just sat and watched it drift towards the water.
I saw an exes friend. This wasn't particularly awkward except that I am sure we made eye contact and did not acknowledge the other's presence.
The pastor announced that we would leave row by row after everyone had stood up and the back five rows were gone.
We ended up sitting with some lovely women who made comments (in their most southern accents) like "it was such a beautiful wedding; Seth could just eat her up . . . I could tell!"
These same women began to gossip quite obnoxiously, and we just weren't sure what to do.

So, maybe these are only funny when Sara and I tell the story out loud; maybe you just had to be there, or maybe you will laugh a little too! It was just the fact that things continued to build, and we had the word 'awkward' branded in our minds. Of course we had to be light hearted to prevent unhealthy pondering of our own love lives. Mad props to Taylor Anderson for taking part in our thoughts and making us feel cool for a short time :)

I am definitely feeling the love all around this weekend. And in conclusion, love is a wonderful thing. However, it is more than a word; it is more than a feeling; it's not always as the movies make it; but true love conquers all. It is a desire or passion which is turned to action in our daily lives.

Life According to Me at Age 13

2009-04-10T11:18:00.003-04:00

So, this was a note I wrote on Facebook last night, and I thought I should copy it here... just because :)

My parents are moving to a new house next week, and it is my duty to clean out my room and pack things up while I am home for Easter. I arrived home this evening in a funky mood; I am feeling bittersweet about the move, doubtful about my abilities, and just unsure about what the Lord has in store for me. Basically, I drove for three hours and allowed my mind to ponder absolutely everything. So, I decided that I should keep busy, turn up the music, and cheer up! I began to go through some stuff including my "keepsake" box and school notebooks from over the years. I came across one folder that was of particular interest; it was a folder full of poems and lists. These were poems that I wrote back in the day as I aspired to be famous for something and poems of for real famous peeps. There were long lists of my favorite music, movies, and books.

My favorite list that I found was entitled "Kala's Soul Mate: What to Look for in a Guy According to God." I believe this was a list I made in a Bible Study at some point. It looks a little something like this:

My soul mate....

*is submissive to God
*is a leader
*has integrity
*is levelheaded and self controlled
*is vigilant
*is humble, trustworthy, and respectful
*resists Satan
*he is a man of faith
*is the spiritual leader
*understanding
*honors and cherishes me
*is tenderhearted and courteous

and then I wrote to myself... "don't worry, Kala, he's out there somewhere! Life goes on for now, but you will find him one day." -God (I am still fully confident that this is the case)

AND I added that he must be attractive, smell nice, and think I am beautiful :)

Interestingly enough, these traits still hold true and are near to my heart.

My list continues with the qualities I should have to be a good, Godly girlfriend and/or wife one day..

*be submissive to God and elders
*be trustworthy
*clothe myself in humility
*have a quiet spirit
*be gentle
*maintain good judgment
*obey God and my husband
*be a homemaker
*love my husband and my children
*maintain self control
*show respect

"Before finding Mr. Right, pray that God will make you this woman. If your Mr. Right has not been revealed to you, focus on preparing yourself to be a Godly wife."

Well, I hope that I have these qualities... I guess I'll just keep up the preparation for now. haha.

I guess I was pretty smart back in those days. I was obviously concerned with finding Mr. Right (what's changed?), but aren't we all that way during the boy crazy, middle school years? I definitely got a good laugh as well as a kind reminder from you know who.

A few other things to share....

When I was 12, I made a list of how to live day to day. Some of my favorite instructions to myself include:

*Give people more than they expect and be cheerful.
*When you say "I Love You," mean it.
*Believe in love at first sight.
*Talk slowly, but think quickly
*Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt, but it's the only way to live life fully.
*When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
*Don't let a little dispute ruin a friendship.
*Don't judge people by their relatives.
*Take responsibility for your actions.

Hopefully these will encourage you a little or maybe just put a little smile on your face just like it did mine :)

Bienvenue!

2009-04-10T10:07:00.004-04:00

Welcome to my first blog! I attempted to begin a blog while I was abroad in 2007, but that was just not how I wanted to spend my time traveling through Europe for three months. Since then, I have tried to resist this temptation by claiming: "I don't have time" and "no one will read it." But I have since realized that I do have time if I make it, and I rarely get to update EVERYONE on my life. I figure you, my family and friends, will read this if you really want to know what's up in the life of Kala :)

The sky is the limit (as my title proclaims in the beautiful language of french), and I hope to post all sorts of cool stuff for you to read. So, stay tuned if you want to read more in the coming days, months, and possibly years!